We all awoke one day in spring, to find a deadly spoor,
Was jumping all around the globe and landed at our door.
Our leaders called for sage advice, from scientists and nerds,
And with advisors politic said “immunise the herd”.
Our oldest foe that great EU, approached with kits for sale,
But sadly we could not respond – we overlooked their mail…
Oh! Captain Tom you get things done, you’re full of heart and pride,
You sang and walked whilst others talked (and some might well have lied).
Nation after Nation, closed shops and streets and schools,
But not the good old Blighty, the land of kings and fools.
Just like our cousins o’er the pond, we laughed at this new fear,
Yet as the death toll mounted up, a new path was made clear.
All the people stay at home, no going out to work,
Except of course for those who’re ‘Key’ – they’re not allowed to shirk.
Oh Captain Moore, you know the score, we need a figurehead,
Without one we’d just mope all day, and watch TV in bed.
Then shock, our cheerful leader, fell ill with deadly flu,
He’s fine they said, its just a cold, (he rushed to ICU).
A bed was found (to much surprise), as others waited long,
But leader must recover now, without him we’ll be gone.
And true enough, without the man, all those left were fools,
Truth be told, it was design – those always were the rules.
Oh Captain Tom, he may be long, please hold for us the fort,
Those others in the parliament, can’t even hold a thought.
‘Key Personnel’ kept on and on, they stayed the course you see,
Despite the pittance they were paid, they kept us all healthy.
Yet they’re denied the PPE, the gowns and gloves and masks,
“Just wash them when you’re done” we said, “we’ll buy some more and fast”.
We called back up the old EU – “We saw your mail” we said,
Too late alas, but never mind Turkey will sell instead.
Oh! Captain Moore, I do implore, keep walking up and down,
We look to you to see us through, there’s no one else around!
The answer they thought Nightingale, a place all bright and new,
A thousand beds all squared away, with space for me and you.
They send some in and then oh no, the rest are turned away,
Insufficient Nurses there to run both night and day.
But leader’s safe and bearing up – that good old NHS,
The one staffed mainly from abroad, they passed old Priti’s test!
Oh Captain Tom, we’re woe begone, don’t let us down, not yet,
You haven’t hit the century, you’ll make it there I bet.
Up pops Bojo, fresh and new – “We must reward this chap!”,
“He raised a little fortune here, to help in this mishap”.
The millions raised are lots to Tom, but not to government,
They could have paid this right up front, and saved us all torment.
Your job BoJo is to protect, the people of this land,
Not wait for Captain Moore to show, his cap out in his hand.
Oh Captain Tom what have you done, you’ve saved them from the shame,
Distracting us from all their crap, they’re Scott free once again.
Unprepared we were it seems, a system short on cash,
A government which lacks in depth, but with a leader flash.
We should not need to wait for Tom, to wake us to this fate,
It’s evident to all around, it’s called a welfare state.
You take from all, according to, ability to pay,
Then give it to those in the need – what more is there to say?
Oh Captain Moore, please no more, let’s force them to decide,
They must stand, admit the truth, we cannot let them hide.